The concept of “Crossing over the bridge to another” has been active within my life for some time even though it had no name. Hedy Schleifer identifies it while sharing a touching story in her video link (below my article), and while I listened to her, I fully resonated and understood her described concept.
Years ago, I found “crossing over the bridge” illusive and often not a cognizant process for me. The more I “tried”, the more frustrated I became. It was a bit comical because during my Communication Development classes in 2004, we were learning to “get out of our own way” when expressing, or writing from my heart. I could only achieve such a state when I was simply too exhausted from practice to maintain my ego. What a paradox! That was when communicating with another became ego-less and intimate no matter what the topic was. I had simply surrendered into the manner of being and it felt wonderful. Hedy Schleifer describes a similar memory when she shares how she regularly visited her debilitating mother day after day with feelings of frustration and sadness. One day she recognizes that her intimate or pure connection is being “polluted” by such low vibrational thoughts and feelings so she decides to consciously drop the heavy thoughts in order to “cross the bridge” to her mother with a new found openness and curiosity. This is when pure contact is achieved. She described it as having no expectation of the other, but instead being fully present and attentive to them, where ever they maypresently reside.
In my own life, I have wanted a purity of communication since the day I realized how important my choice of words were. We (Humanity) are presently moving into a state where words will be needed less and less as we enter the higher and purer state of consciousness with one another, but for our every day interactions, we still require words. The times when I’ve wanted to cross over the bridge to another have been highlighted and sometimes painful. For example, as time goes on, my father is losing more of his hearing. He and I have a wonderful relationship and enjoy conversing and laughing over many topics. I know he doesn’t want me to know that he doesn’t always hear me, but I do know. When I tell him a funny story or share a witty line that is relevant in the moment, sometimes I can see that what I shared in words – didn’t get through. I might try again, or I might just let it go, depending on what is occurring. I miss the ease that we used to have within our conversations. Luckily, he recently got a new and improved hearing aid, so some clarity and ease has returned.
The skill of “Crossing over the bridge” with another developed within me while studying Relationships and Conflict in 2004. We tend to purposefully use this kind of way of being when another is in a state of crisis or loss. Perhaps during those times, it seems appropriate to stand ego-less and without distracting thoughts with another. But imagine being in this way of being at all times. Here are some natural places where I observe when “crossing over the bridge to another” comes easily.
Holding a baby in one’s arms
Engaging with a puppy or kitten
Playing with a toddler at the beach or in the play ground
Sitting with the elderly, playing cards
When two people are in the first stage of ego-less love
When our child is in pain
The premise behind this skill is stillness of the mind. Another way of saying it is emptying the mind of distracting thoughts or agendas and allowing one’s total focus to be on the person with whom you are crossing the bridge to. There may be emotions that are within one or both persons, but the emotions are not driving the conversation. In fact, the emotions have been consciously noted but set aside.
As intern therapists within our Transformational Psychotherapy program, we are learning and attempting to live and interact consciously in this mode. Interestingly, we are all pretty immersed in the endevor of learning and clearing-through our own personal work, and so we additionally lend ourselves to one another (where needed) using this kind of listening, relating and being with each other. Part of our ability to be ego-less and present with each other is the knowing, through witnessing the daily patterns; that we are all taking our turns at having rough intervals. So our goal is not to rescue or fix one another, but instead to simply cross over the bridge to be with another in understanding. The ease of this transition occurs because we trust in the inner resourcefulness that we each possess; that internally, we know what is needed in order to heal our own wounded-ness.
Enjoy this thought provoking speaker who interacts with her audience (and all of us) in a most profound and intimate way. I look forward to see how her influence will ripple out into the world. And my attention will be especially focused when November 2012 comes around.
We are really on our way to seeing one another’s true essence! How exciting is that! Love always,
VIDEO IS HERE – Crossing over to another