Why did I choose to come to Earth?
This was a question that plagued me for much of my childhood and adolescence. I knew on some level I chose to come to Earth for this lifetime, yet ironically I have felt such resistance to being here for most of my life. From a young age, after my inner-observer became acute, I began noticing how people treated one another and it was not with the loving nature that I remembered from my prior home before my birth.
I began to notice aggression and opposition within my neighborhood streets, my school, and in the park I frequented across the street from where I lived. My early years found me in Quebec in a French speaking neighborhood. I was English speaking, and there was rarely any mixing of French and English kids who played together. Fights broke out easily over the use of swings or skating rinks, resulting in bruises and disillusioned sobs; all of this because of differing languages. So young was I that I could not yet grasp the concept of prejudice because my own parents, who shared differing cultures, had taught us children how to lovingly embrace diversity with curiosity and patience. I was therefore thoroughly perplexed at the hostile natures I witnessed from others even in children as young as I.
There was a day when I ventured to play with a little red headed French boy close to my age of 3 or 4. It was awkward without language at first, but soon we stopped using language, and played fabulously together. Even so, it wasn’t long before my new friend’s mother called him home, no doubt to remind him to play with his own kind, for I never got to play with him again. He came to the park after that with his older red-haired brother, who gave me a bleeding nose when he wanted me off the monkey bars. I soon became despondent and downhearted and instinctively less spontaneous with sharing my childlike joy and laughter. I instead became somber, reclusive and serious. Being on Earth was not fun at all!
I think part of me experienced the concept of existing on earth, as how one feels when they are about to enter into a freezing cold swimming pool as they prepare to take a swimming lesson. Such an entrance could occur in many ways. As for me, I held my breath, closed my eyes and tensed my body telling myself “this will be over soon”. Yet, along the path of life, I have realized that I’m not going to complete what I came here to do unless I allow myself, not only to breathe but moreover to open my eyes in order to truly participate in life’s experience. I remember watching others in my swimming class who had a different response than mine; who squealed, smiled and laughed as they jumped into the water, making a great splash which announced their arrival to the scene. With such robust engagement, they soon adjusted to the temperature, and fully enjoyed the swim. They were viewing an uncomfortable experience as an adventure rather than as a requirement. They certainly experienced more enjoyment during their time in the water, while my habit of resisting discomfort proved to be obstructive. First of all, it hid a vital part of me from the rest of my class, and second I was not entering into the totality of the experience.
I am no longer that young disappointed innocent child. There may not be much of a change in the level of hostility and aggression within earth-life, however I have learned that hiding away and remaining silent is a waste of my adventure time while I’m here. So I’ve developed tactics that keep me in the game, so to speak. And sharing them may be helpful to others who are at a crossroads of deciding to opt out by shutting their eyes, grimacing and saying “It will soon be over”.
When I awaken each morning, the first thing I see on the wall beside my bed is a colorfully sink painted wall-hanging with the message “Gratitude” printed vividly. I begin my day noticing all that I have in my life that is joyful, beautiful and useful to me. I have family pictures purposefully placed on the wall next to my Gratitude wall-hanging. These pictures make me smile. I often recite the message on the centre group of pictures. It says “live well, laugh often, love much”. Such an obvious reminder that I have indeed been an active participant in my life through birthing five beautiful souls into the world; souls who have since become adults, and are now my most supportive and loving friends.
Should I find myself in places and situations that bring me that familiar unease and discomfort of early childhood, I no longer stop breathing, tense up and shut my eyes. Instead, I remind myself to “breathe deeply… breath fully… and feel the expansion emerge from such prudent deliberateness”. Additionally I keep my eyes open in order to watch ever more curiously to what is really occurring around me. I can then decide within my calm state, just what the most effective method of response might be. I am not in a reactive state which resulted from lack of air, unease and diminished insight. I am solidly grounded in my body, with my connection to a loving-Intelligence providing me with messages of crystal clear inspiration. I know intrinsically that I can have a positive effect on whatever is occurring – as long as I remain a calm eye within the surrounding storm.
When I find myself out of sorts and overwhelmed by the aggressive natures of the world, I can be gentle with myself, by removing myself to a more private space in order to find realignment. This may look simple, like putting myself to bed early because I’m clearly overtired; or possibly treating myself to durations of inner-reflection through a walk in nature, or a warm bath. If I don’t have the luxury of time, then even a few moments of excusing myself in order to re-center and re-connect with Source through breath and intention is doing myself a great service. A few moments can go a long way in getting one through the day. Of course “noticing” the need for re-centering is an essential initial step. Many of us miss the noticing part, and limp along all day long, wondering why our day is so challenging.
My present days are more joyful, as opposed to being full of resistance. But don’t get me wrong – I am not saying I’m in a constant state of bliss and enlightenment… yet (smile). Even so, each chaotic event that used to “take me out”, now more regularly converts into an opportunity for me to master self-management. I now engage in the occasion fully in order to truly remember the true essence of who I really am. After all… I am the cherished offspring of infinite Divine Intelligence. And I came to this earth-life from a spiritual home of unlimited love and compassion, as does every one of us! As each individual comes to a solid recognition of this personal truth, we collectively create unlimited potential for the health and balance of planet Earth and all who reside on it.
Now that’s worth keeping my eyes open for!