Finding a Counselor, Are We a Match?
Many years ago, I made the decision to find a counsellor to help me through some challenging times. There were so many to choose from, that I felt overwhelmed and didn’t know where to begin. One of my gifts is to be able to read people’s energy through photographs. I scoured the listings and simply looked at the faces of counsellors first. I imagined telling them about myself and was able to get a sense of how they would respond. Using my intuition was helpful
When I found one I liked, I made an appointment to speak to them on the phone. I had questions to ask. The first thing I noted was their voice. Was it a comforting voice? Did they express clearly, or did they take a long time to get answers and ideas out? Was their pace of speaking slow enough for me to understand the information fully? Did they pause enough for me to respond or ask a question?
Finally, when I took the risk to go to their office and have my first session, I looked around carefully to see how space was set up. Did I feel welcome and comfortable? Did the environment have a safe feeling? How did the colour of the space affect me? What about the counsellor’s workspace? Did it look managed? And books. What books and pictures surrounded me?
Picking out a Counsellor is a feat because that individual is about to partner with you around intimate and deep-rooted issues that you are now ready to face and heal. Rapport and trust are needed for the work to get done, and there will be constant engaging between both parties for a duration of time.
The counsellor becomes a significant role that is important, like a hairdresser, bank manager, writer’s coach or physical trainer. There is a commitment to accomplish certain goals within their time together, which should be established at the first session, through an intake process.
Being a counsellor has made me realize how important it is to be well matched with my clients. The initial consult made by phone, skype or in person is also an indication to the therapist as to whether they are a good match, or whether further referring is a better option. We do the client a favour when we are insightful enough to realize someone else would be a better match for what the client is dealing with.
My Counselling practice is not at all traditional. It encompasses a holistic aspect of viewing ourselves from physical, mental, emotional and spiritual perspectives. I am not traditionally educated. My background includes more diversity than what traditional education produces. It is a priority for me to bring to my client’s awareness – their own power and authority – through igniting and remembering their own intuitive gifts.
Some common characteristics of my typical client-population include the following
Life occurrences have broken-you-open enough to look for answers to broad questions about your life before birth, your life after death and even for the meaning of your present life in-between.
You wonder about your life-purpose or if such a purpose even exists.
You have a sensitive nature, who feels like you are not a fit in this world. It is a challenge to be grounded and centred. You become affected easily by other people’s moods, words and behaviours.
A crisis of health has jostled you into inquiring about your Wholeness. The body, mind and soul.
You have an understanding that there is something more to being in this life than what meets the human eye or which has been previously taught to you by culture, school or religion.
You have experienced a grave loss which has shaken you up with questions you want answers to. (Loss may include a broad spectrum which includes loss of job, status, loved one, pets, health, independence and much more).
You realize that happiness does not come from exterior things or people. Happiness is attainable through inner excavation and continual state-management. You want some tools to achieve this.
You realize there is an energy-component within every living thing which can be sensed and communicated with.
Your concept of “God” has changed or dissolved. You may be searching for more understanding. Perhaps looking at how to develop a relationship with that changing concept of God.
You are someone who yearns to help others or to help improve the chaotic state of our world, yet you know not where to begin.
When I listen to the words and stories of others during consults, I can feel when we are a fit to work together. It makes the time we spend together both magical and productive when a match is good.
The match between you and I is as much your responsibility as it is mine. Just as the work we do together is a co-creative effort by both of us. Together, we are so much more than how our individual components add up.